"Of Course" Practice

This is an extremely effective self-validation practice I learned from Heart Coach James "Fish" Gill. I use it frequently. It supports meeting your experience with openness, rather than resistance or judgment.

(Side note: this same approach is a wonderful way to validate other people in your life as well!)

The point here isn't to agree with the disturbance or make it disappear. It's to reduce the second layer of suffering ("I shouldn't feel this," e.g.) so your system can settle and you can respond more clearly.

This isn't just being nice to yourself, though that's important. This is actually rewiring your relationship with your own experience. Instead of "What's wrong with me for feeling this way?" you're saying "Of course my system would respond like this, given everything I've experienced."

Ask yourself: what part of you chose to feel this way? You didn't. It was simply a natural response in your system. That's the key insight.

Often, what we're feeling is an outdated protection mechanism, something we learned long ago because it helped us survive or cope. We built this protection that was very smart at one point, saved or helped us, but now just needs some updating. The way we update it is through compassionate care.

When to use it

Try "Of course" when you notice:

• self-criticism ("why am I like this?")
• anxiety about uncertainty
• shame, defensiveness, or inner pressure
• you're fighting your feelings or trying to force calm

Before you start

• Pick something mild (3/10) if you're practicing.
• If you're very activated, downshift first (three physiological sighs or orienting).
• Aim for sincerity, not perfection.