Think about how a grounded adult responds to a distressed child: we don't shame them or tell them to 'snap out of it.' We attune, we validate, we stay close—and that helps the system settle.
We can learn to bring that same stance inward.
First arrow, second arrow
Often the suffering has two layers:
- First arrow: the anxiety sensations themselves
- Second arrow: 'I shouldn't feel this' or 'What's wrong with me?'
Today we're practicing dropping the second arrow. The first arrow is often more workable than we think—it's the second arrow that makes things feel unbearable.
The question isn't 'Is it the world or is it me?' The question is: 'Is the volume of my response matching the size of the moment?'
Lesson 11 of 1479% complete